Defining FEAR and Living with it.
I have been afraid for a very long time. Very afraid that I might be doing the wrong thing or doing something the wrong way. If you’ve ever had a breakup with someone you love, I’m sure you have had the fear that if you get into another relationship, it might also fail. Probably, you no longer believe in love anymore. Sometimes you dream of it but cannot try because of fear, which came through your first relationship.
We all have been afraid. There are times we are afraid of what will happen if we do this or that. How will it feel? What if I get hurt? What will be the outcome? What will people say?
You find yourself in dire need for something and you even see the possibilities of that particular thing working out – meaning there is hope. But at the same time you are nervous… afraid that it might work? Your fears grow even bigger. What’s is it going to be like?
For instance, you can apply for a scholarship and have a strong feeling it will go through, but then get afraid of leaving your family. You can wonder whether people will accept you in a foreign country. Like, how will I speak? Oh my accent, and any other issue you can think of that triggers the feeling of lacking control.
We have given so much power to fear that it has become our enemy. Fear is supposed to keep you safe, but it has the potential to prevent you from working harder. Fear can lull you in your comfort zone. It can make you do what has popularly been done to produce common results. Remember, you are supposed to change the world, and make it a better place to live. That won’t happen when you are only doing what people have been doing.
Again, I remind you that you are unique. You have a great calling in your life, a purpose to pursue. Don’t let fear make you lock your dreams in the closet, waiting for the right time. Waiting till you make enough money. Till your children go to school so that you can start that business.
Looking back to when I was young, I was fearless. I wanted to do great things when I grow up. Take a moment, look at your childhood… that fearless boy/girl you were. Things you told your mum you would do and become. Things you promised your dad.
That young child is not stupid. He has faith – he knows it’s possible. You listen to some of them now and for sure many have become just but fairytales. But at that age they are very sane and so were you.
The biggest question is, “What changed?” When did we lose the faith? What is the transition point? Where is the line, the place we closed and started perceiving things different?
The more you know, the more careful you become when trying your luck, leave alone taking risks. You are told, “so and so did this and failed.” Others say to be a doctor you need to get an A. Some experiences you go through are unfriendly and your brain records then as a no-go zone. All this dims your faith and you start working with what works – being realistic.
Researching, analyzing facts, weighing the probabilities. Drawing conclusions based on people who failed without asking why they failed. You take that in and you label it IMPOSSIBLE. Fear registers.
To change the world you need to be different in what you think and how you do what you do, beyond what is popularly known. It is equally important handle your fear.
Have you ever entered a room and found something that scared you? For a moment, you stop breathing and stay still. Everything literally stops when fear kicks in. Until we are assured that we are safe it’s hard to move forward. That’s what has made your comfort zone your safest place to be.
Fear is your friend and it’s supposed to propel you. For instance, someone who keeps adding on weight and is afraid of becoming diabetic may go for fitness classes to prevent the worst from happening. Fear makes people take additional courses to gain skill over something they wish to pursue, find coaches, or go for therapy. That’s a good thing.
Ask around, the most successful people you see have done some of the things they did while afraid. The hack is accepting your fears and having enough courage to pursue your dream. Do not let your fear overpower your ‘WHY?’
So, grab your fear (doubts, insecurities and questions) in one hand and your passion (courage and motivation) on the other and take control. “Yes, I feel afraid, but I need to do it anyway.” Take the driver’s seat and use the fear to direct you to what you need to do the job, not to stop you. Jump into your greatness. Live your dream and write yourself a nice story.
Life presents us with choices, since everything is available to us. After understanding what you need to get to the place you want to be, the next question is where to find it. When you figure that out, you will be way ahead.
Let your WHY be bigger than your fear, take control and dive into pursuing your dream. Explore the most beautiful version of you. Claim your opportunity to your purposeful future.
I will be so happy, if you find a minute and type something on the comment box. I want to know what you think or believe about fear.